Manners for Toddlers

July 2025

Summer is not OVER! Keep enjoying every minute until... the smell of crisp fall weather arrives. We already have pumpkins at HVS. Is it going to be an early fall? Maybe?

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Manners and Toddlers

How do we teach kids manners and why is it important?

• Manners give children confidence
• They must have a role model they trust
• Start with early simple habits
• Understand why we have manners
• This leads to good social skills as they age

📺 2 min video: Etiquette & The Story of King Louis XIV – Cindy Post Senning shares how the word “etiquette” came to represent our social customs through a story of King Louis XIV and his summer celebrations at Versailles.

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New Class: Gradual Introduction to Preschool

Caregiver and Me Class – Join us for an hour. You choose: story time, snack time, outside play, or learning time.

Sign up on Calendly

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https://calendly.com/jivins77/caregiver-and-me-class

UPDATE from Miss Jessica

This summer, I took a trip to New Jersey and visited New York with my daughter Marissa. We enjoyed the shore, relaxed by the pool, and even had a pretend “pool boy” (really my husband) bring us drinks. Yes, I still pretend as an adult!

I finally started working out—and I’m enjoying it! I gave the preschool room a makeover, created a new solar system mobile, and installed pulley systems in the classroom. At home, I now have an automatic chicken door—more time for coffee in the mornings!

Marissa, my youngest, will be a senior this year. She bought a moped and has been zipping all over Sandy, Draper, and South Jordan. Give her a wave if you see her!

This year, Daniela will be helping in the preschool on Wednesdays. She’s Spanish-speaking, and I love the diversity she brings for the kids. Hearing another language is such a gift for their developing brains.

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The Decline of Unstructured Play

by Michael Patte, Ph.D.

In the past, play was child-initiated and open-ended. Today, for many kids, it’s adult-directed and highly structured—impacting physical, cognitive, social, and emotional growth. Michael Patte, professor of education at Bloomsburg University, explains why unstructured play remains essential.

Read the rest here

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Consistency: A Key to Raising Secure, Well-Behaved Children

Consistency is one of the most powerful tools for helping children grow into emotionally secure and well-mannered individuals. Like a steady compass, it helps kids know what to expect and how to behave.

Benefits of Consistency

• Creates a sense of security
• Builds trust in caregivers
• Reinforces learning through repetition
• Shapes behavior effectively
• Strengthens emotional regulation

Why HVS Excels in Consistency

We’re small, stable, and dependable—always the same teachers, never random substitutes. This predictability makes our environment safe and home-like.

Examples in the World

• Church – studies link religious upbringing with greater success
• The seasons – predictable and reassuring
• Sunrise and sunset
• Flowers blooming and fading
• Evergreen trees staying green year-round

Our Approach to Religion

Religion isn’t part of our curriculum, but if a child talks about church, we listen respectfully. Sometimes a child asks to pray before snack, and they’re welcome to do so.

Living in Utah

It’s common for kids to ask, “What church do you go to?” You can simply reply: “I’m happy you’ve found peace at your church, and thanks for thinking of me. I’m at peace with my choice.”

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How Do I Get Through to My Teenager?

Conversations with teens can feel impossible. My creative solution: a picture frame in the bathroom, right above the toilet paper. I rotate the content—jokes, quotes, or reminders. They have to look at it, so maybe they’ll read it!

Sometimes it works, sometimes not—but when they quote something from the frame, I know: mission accomplished. Start this when they’re young so it becomes normal. Change it often.

🖼 Frames for Quotes or Art

📄 Printable Top 10 Cell Phone Rules

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Emily Post Website

Preschool Hours

This year’s preschool hours: 8:30 a.m. – 11:45 a.m.

If you’re in a bind, I can often accommodate. For full-time daycare, my neighbor runs Canny Kids with two locations in Sandy. I can even drop children off there if needed.

Canny Kids Drop-in Day Care

Caregiver and Me class

Caregiver and Me Class – January 2025

This 60-minute interval class is held during preschool time. Parents or caregivers can stop by and participate in mindful play with their little one. This also allows the caregiver to interact purposefully and use tools from the classroom.

Scientists are just beginning to understand the brain and how important early development is. The brain develops most quickly—and forms more neuron synapses—during the early years.

Babies have enormous potential, and it is well-established that exposure to a variety of environments helps a person become well-rounded and adaptable.

Sign up for a Caregiver and Me class for ages 0–3 years.
First class is free!

Sign Up

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Snowshoeing with All Seasons Adventures

Our most popular winter activity is perfect for skiers and non-skiers alike! Guests return year after year for the beautiful views and the soft sounds of nature.

Take your little one snowshoeing with All Seasons Adventures. Click here for my Facebook video and our family’s snowshoeing experience.

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Understanding the Brain 0–5

After running a preschool in my home for the last 5 years, I’ve noticed some amazing facts:

1. Zero to three is a critical time. Here is a great website for parents and educators: Zero to Three.
2. Children must go through developmental phases—tasting everything, experimenting, tantruming.
3. Exposure is important. This means introducing children to various textures, senses, tastes, visuals, sounds, movement, people, animals, etc.

And if your child didn’t get that exposure, they will at Hidden Valley School.

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Education and AI

Education is at a pivotal moment—or at least I hope it is. AI is entering the forefront in many fields. Is that so bad? I am exploring this idea.

AI could be helpful for alleviating teacher burnout—especially for those keeping track of 30+ children in elementary school or 120+ students in high school. Progress can be easy to see and personalized, whereas in a traditional classroom with one teacher, lessons are often geared toward higher-performing students who give more feedback, leaving lower students with less attention.

Concerns with AI include privacy and replacement. Real-world experiences can never be replaced—especially in early childhood. However, here is one app for speech delays I will be investigating:

The Future of AI in Early Childhood

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Skills Before Screens

If you have an objective and sit down with your child to support them with a game or AI, that’s different. For example, in the case of a speech concern—AI is not replacing speech therapy. But if you are worried about certain sounds your child may be leaving out, have them evaluated by a speech therapist or for free by your school district or Early Intervention programs. Then find out what they need to work on—this app may be helpful:

AI and Speech Therapy

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Free Clothing Printout

This free printable will help keep your child on task when changing clothes. For example, underwear goes on before pants. Talking to a 2-year-old and trying to keep them focused on dressing can be a challenge! Keep this on the dresser or in the room for quick reference—visuals make all the difference.

Download Clothing Printout

How Zombie Chicken became Ralph the Chicken

I find it is easier to type my story here than in my Parent Newsletter.

I have 4 chickens- 2 Barred Plymouth Rock Chickens, 1 New Hampshire, and 1 Easter Egger. It was a rough year. One day we went to let the chickens out of the coop in the morning and Easter Egger was stuck in a soccer net. She had been there all night and something had pecked or eaten the top of her head off. She was barely alive. She was lethargic and didn't move when I brought her inside to examine the damage and clean the wound.

I was so sad for her. She had always been a very proud chick and now she simply looked like a zombie and didn't have energy to eat. I nursed her for 1 wk. She slept next to my bed in a container. She was showing improvement and I let her outside with the others. Her buddy, one of the Plymouth Rock Chickens that had been a chick with her, was her buddy. She stayed right next to her. They were a little bullied by the two other chickens and the New Hampshire or Rosie was the OG of all the chickens. She had lived through two Raccoon raids. She was a survivor and lived alone in the back yard until I finally replaced the martyr chickens. She was the top of the pecking order.

When the other Barred Plymouth Rock or Peppa, wanted to be the top of the pecking order. She started working her way up. Rosie held her ground and the other Barred Plymouth and Easter Egger were at Peppa's mercy. They watched their back and let Peppa eat first. Even though Rosie was the OG, she let Peppa think she was the top. This relieved Rosie of the work of chasing off the others when she ate. Rosie was a genius. Peppa took on all the work of keeping everyone in line and the newest baby chicks were growing now.

The other Barred Plymouth Rock was named Rex because he outgrew Peppa and her feet were ginormous like a T-rex. And Eater Egger tried to remain best buds with Rex. Until one day the Pecking order began to change. Rex started trying to take Peppa's place. And Rex was pecking at Easter Egger. Eater Egger had developed the name Zombie chicken at this point because of how her head healed and the trauma of having her head pecked or bitten off. Easter Egger as all alone. The other chickens were no longer allowing Zombie to eat with them or sleep with them. Before when she was healing, she slept with Rosie and Rex, but now she was on her own. It was time for Zombie to lay eggs but she knew the other chickens wouldn't let her lay in the coop. She had to find a place to lay her beautiful light green eggs. The other chickens almost seemed to be jealous of Zombie because of her beautiful eggs.

The day came when they had to say in the coop for a week because the neighbor was getting a fence. This was especially hard for Zombie because Peppa and Rex were incessant with their pecking on Zombie.

Zombie succumbed to staying or roosting all day in the coop up high. She did dare challenge Peppa or Rex. And Roxie, the OG, was always in her same spot- in the coop facing the lawnmower in the shed. Peppa and Rex had some gruesome battles for the roosting spot up high. Rex was so chubby, that one night Rex and Peppa were finally roosting after battling for the spot and KERPLUNK, the roosting shelf fell and they didn't have anywhere to roost except with Zombie up high or Rosie in the Shed. Rosie held her position as top of the pecking order and Zombie did get challenged. Zombie is very good at ignoring the other chickens and scooting over and not letting them bother her. She will keep to herself, watch her P's and Q's and let them always eat first. The one problem that Zombie had was that she was laying but didn't want to lay in their coop. She had to. And one day she did lay an egg, in the shed. Not in the coop. I picked the egg up and put it in the coop. When I came back the next day the chickens had pushed her light green egg out of the pile of eggs. I put it back. The next day, same thing. They pushed her egg out of the pile. Ugh. They were brutal with their pecking order. The following week the fence was done and the chickens were happy to be free ranging in the back yard.

One day I was cleaning the yard and came across the pine tree scraps and a nest full of - none else - but light green eggs. Zombie chicken was laying. I had started to wonder if she was ever going to lay because of all her trauma. But she had. And she had a brilliant place among the pine trees. She had refused to lay in the coop and I had only found the 1 egg because she was locked in the coop. Now I knew what she had been doing. Laying her eggs in her hidden nest. I had to move her nest because I was cleaning but I decided to make her a coop out of a wooden crate and put pine tree scraps over it and around it. She hasn’t used the home-made coop. And I did take all her eggs- 7 of them and left one. And then 3 days later I saw Zombie come out of the coop in the morning and head straight to the North side of the yard. She carefully waddled under some Lilac bushes and I wondered...did she have a new nest? Yes! 8 more eggs were in a carefully crafted pine bed nest. She had been laying all her eggs in her own nest. She is just a wonderful resilient chicken. She may not be liked by all the others, and she may be the bottom of the pecking order. But she keeps laying and playing in my back yard. Bless her Chicken Heart. Oh, and we changed her name to Ralph so the stigma of Zombie will leave her.

Hey Mindful Parents- Let's talk Sensory

November 2024 Do you wish you were at the beach? Me too!

What is sensory? Why does it matter? The "sensory system," in a broad sense, is the part of our nervous system dedicated to receiving and processing information from the world around us. There are several different senses that fit within the sensory system. Each sense (e.g., sight, smell, touch, etc.) uses different body parts that have specialized sensory receptors—cells that gather a certain type of input from the environment. Those receptors are connected to neurons that bring that type of input to a particular region or regions of the brain to be processed. In turn, the brain then makes sense of the input and triggers a response.

click below to learn more Meghan Fitzgeral did such a wonderful job writing what sensory is about that I used her site. She is an amazing mom and educator that started Tinkergarten- a ingenius way to get parents and kids to play. I use much of her curriculum. Understanding Sensory At the Hidden School we play with mud, dirt, rice, lentils, shaving cream, water, slime, play dough, bread dough, cookie dough, paint and anything we can add water too. There is a spectrum to sensory. Some kids can't stand touch and other kids must be squished to feel anything. Some kids can't stand to touch their food and some kids can't get enough glue on their arms. Where do we want our kids to be on this spectrum of sensory? In the middle is "normal". But where ever they are we try to support. If they won't touch it, we encourage to use a stick or spoon to touch it. If they want to bath in it we teach them limits and boundaries with bathing in the glue. Our bodies tell us what we need. There is a great book I read this summer, How the Body Knows Its Mind. This book talks about how our body tells us before we even are conscious about it. And learning is best with manipulatives. We learn best with our bodies. Jumping to 10 vs, counting to 10. Seeing and touching a chicken vs. looking at a book. This book was recommended by a previous student's mother/ math teacher. How the Body Knows Its Mind  

Free print out.

sign up for my emails for the pdf files you can download and print. Kids like to know what is going on. Have this on your fridge as a conversation started for what is going on that day. Maybe you are going to the doctor, or getting a haircut, or going to grandpa's house? Visuals will help those kiddos grasp what is going on and lessen their stress and allow them to learn all the places they go. With this understanding you will have a smoother transition.   Places Print out   Free Print out of clothing pictures.

This will help you keep them on task when changing. They can change their clothes, but the underwear go before the pants. And talking to a 2 year old and trying to get them to stay focused on getting dressed is a task. Keep this on the dresser or in the room for quick reference. Visuals make all the difference.   clothing printout

My origin story

I am always observing kids. Watching children is meditation. They are such curious, cautious, primal little people. They live on survival mode sometimes. And they need predictable adults surrounding them.

Other children may grab their toys at any moment. They have to be ready to defend themselves or give up. The amygdala is ready to be fired up at any moment. I have never seen a child too tired to respond. And then there is the dilemma of allowing the child to be themselves. If they are submissive or aggressive teaching them to do that appropriately for social situations. Submissive children may need confidence building at first and aggressive children have an over-firing amygdala. Why? They need to be re-wired to understand they are safe. When does a child understand that they don’t have to fight for their right when someone accident brushes against them…. about age 3-5. Early childhood age. Age 2-4 they are ready to pounce. And that is where I want to help your child. Achieve that balance of allowing others to have a turn, knowing your rights, and finding balance.

Of course we always want a win-win situation. And that can happen, but it takes TIME. And that is exactly what other preschool classrooms DON’T have. They are on a tight schedule and an aide or teacher will stay behind with a child with a firing amygdala. The other children are expected to leave the situation or ignore it. What if they have an inclination to help? I had a situation the other day that escalated to two children crying. The were crying, “I want mommy.” This is the normal response for a 2-year-old. We talked in the class, “What do you do when you miss your mommy or daddy?” Another child ran to her backpack and handed her most beloved toy to the other child. The other child hesitantly took it and settled down a bit. Then a second child ran to her backpack and got out her favorite toy, a police truck. She wanted to show the other child that this is her favorite, but she wasn’t ready to share it. And that is okay. The act of showing it to them was a wonderful step for this child. We took 10 min. to find our pictures of our family and talk about what we do when we miss out mom or dad. At the end of the play time we always do a check in.

What did you do today?

I miss my daddy.

I miss my mommy.

I want mommy.

Notice how all of those sentences are in present tense. These children are still working on (integrating a trauma, or memory) the fact that they miss their parent. And that is normal at this age. This will prepare them for the other life lessons that will come.

Things children do when they miss their mommy or daddy?

They think about their mom. Put their mom in their heart. Think of something. Ask for a hug. (great problem solving). Seek comfort from a stuffed animal. These are all their ideas. I have had children write a note to mom or dad. Draw a picture.

A teacher never knows the extent of how much a child misses their parent. Maybe the child is still working on attachment trauma. Were they a premature baby that didn’t get to bond immediately? I always approach every child curiously and with compassion.

Did I always have this much compassion crying children? NO! It is a time achieved goal. What is even a goal…not really. I did have children young (17) and I remember being frustrated sometimes. I ultimately have 5 children and fostered 3 children. Every child comes with trauma baggage, even biological kids! I was a child that cried a lot, according to my mother. I cried and cried and cried. I do not have a very keen memory to my childhood and my memory is not great. OF course, memory does not start working until 18 mos. according to Dr Siegel. I know from talking to my mother and father that during my early childhood there was marital problems, separation, and a severely depressed mother who neglected the needs of a crying baby. And this may be the reason I have such a passion for early childhood. I do believe that anything negative that happens in our life can be reincarnated to a beautiful butterfly. It has happened repeatedly in my life. Read how this happens with the Chinese farmer…

https://www.wordonfire.org/articles/fellows/the-story-of-the-chinese-farmer/

But I do remember in 3rd grade I wrote a paper about the number 100. I wrote that I wanted 100 children. It was back to school night and all the parents were walking around the room reading what all the children wanted 100 of…when they got to mine…

I want 100 children.

LAUGHTER filled the classroom. I felt shame, embarrassment, and didn’t understand why they were happy for me. This is one of my first LESSONS for understanding children. What kids say they mean. They are serious and don’t want to be the center of laughter.

Dr Dan Siegel is one of my favorite Mindfulness “go to”. The latest sessions I was able to find was on the Trauma-Sensitivity, Self-Compassion, Intergenerational Healing Sessions. These sessions were available by the Founder of The Awake Network, Compassion in Therapy. They have 3 days of video for free!

He talked about the predictable, present, compassionate adult that should be present for children. These qualities in an adult help the child to be able to grow and develop in a mindful way. What good is that? Studies show that if a person practices mindfulness (simply paying attention to your body, meditating, breathing, noticing, being curious about an emotion, or noticing nature) they are better able to process trauma. And if a child is taught mindfulness at a young age, they will be able to process childhood developmental trauma. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/10/85-year-harvard-study-found-the-secret-to-a-long-happy-and-successful-life.html

A 85 year old study shows that relationships are one of the most important factors to living a happy life. And when your child is born you foster positive, healthy relationships for your child- grandparents, aunts, uncles, and eventually teachers. As a parent we wish for healthy relationships for our children. But what if your child is in a preschool with a teacher that is not present and unpredictable. These are simple traits that we wish everyone had, but the bottom line is everyone is human.

However, if you have ever been around a person that practices being present and listens…you know that person cares. I have been practicing mindfulness for 5 years now. Thanks to covid. I was a religious person previously and that got me to that point and then I found that mindfulness is religion for some people and religion can’t be whole without mindfulness. Jesus was mindful. That is what he did when he went to the garden. He meditated/ prayed!

I have also been working with children for 20 years. I have enjoyed learning from them and know that they are an unstoppable energy. They come with such positive energy every morning and I want to foster that energy and help them hold their place when they feel all of the many emotions packed inside their amazing brains.

Hey Mindful Parents July 2024

July 2024 Preschool Class 2024-2025 Here is a look at what our daily schedule looks like:   8:30-9:30 indoor play or outdoor (art, explore, read) 9:30-9:45 clean up 9:45-10:15 snack 10:15-10:30 yoga/ movement 10:30-10:45 read/ explore/ art/ sing 11:00-11:45 littles outdoor play 11:00-12:00 olders outdoor play Half Day Preschool: M-TH 8:30-11:45 age 2-4                                     M-TH 8:30-12:00 age 4.5-6 Full Day Preschool:  T, W, TH 8:30-3:30 Children age 2-4 pick up time is 11:45 am Children 4.5-6 pick up time is 12:00 pm. Ages are combined, but an earlier pick up for younger kids until they graduate to "tolerant to outdoors club". There is no guarantee that your child will be in the 2024 class roster until notified. Tuition is paid yearly, or broken into 10 monthly payments. $25 dollar application fee, free if a returning student. Part-time 2 days a week $229 x 10 mos 3 days a week $339 x 10 mos 4 days a week $429 x 10 mos Full-time 3 days a week $579 x 10 mos (T,W, TH) 4 days is contingent on the number of requests . 4 days would be $729 (Contingent on the number of children that register) Prices may change. Classroom supply fee due with first months tuition $75 for 2 days a week/ $150 for full-time students. We do not discriminate based on race or religion. There is a 5% discount if paid in full at the beginning of the year. 30 Day advance must be given for cancellation of tuition. Children age 2-4 pick up time is 11:45 am Children 4.5-6 pick up time is 12:00 pm Please remember we are outside playing. There is required clothing accessories to purchase for outdoors. Pick up time is strictly followed. There will be a late fee after 3 late pick ups. On the 4th late pick up $15, 5th late pick up $20, etc.     It is time for classes to be formed. I will notify parents by July 25   First day of preschool is 8/19   We will follow the Canyons School District Calendar. Calendar to follow enrollment.     Apply here     Healthy Minds App for parents / my favorite app and it is free   Get on Board and make Utah Schools Phone-free Schools.   Here is a podcast to listen to regarding the debate of taking kids phones away.   On a personal note: I took my daughters phone in May 2024. She immediately had a "friend' give her a burner phone. This escalated to text during school hours that caused stress and anxiety when school should be a place of learning and security.   She hasn't had an Iphone since then and I have switched to a GABB. This was the only choice for her. We tried screen time. But I know every child would benefit from no schools during school hours. It is ok to be without your phone for school. And her mental health is much improved!   CNN podcast   click to see Jonathan Haidt's data on kids, anxiety and phone use in the US and around the world.   click here WHAT IS NEW AT THE HIDDEN PRESCHOOL?   Landlines. I have added a landline and kids will have access on Thursday to practice calling mom or dad. So be ready! And parents can call our school! Our new classroom number is 801-849-8884