Tuesday, May 6, 2025

How Zombie Chicken became Ralph the Chicken

I find it is easier to type my story here than in my Parent Newsletter.

I have 4 chickens- 2 Barred Plymouth Rock Chickens, 1 New Hampshire, and 1 Easter Egger. It was a rough year. One day we went to let the chickens out of the coop in the morning and Easter Egger was stuck in a soccer net. She had been there all night and something had pecked or eaten the top of her head off. She was barely alive. She was lethargic and didn't move when I brought her inside to examine the damage and clean the wound.

I was so sad for her. She had always been a very proud chick and now she simply looked like a zombie and didn't have energy to eat. I nursed her for 1 wk. She slept next to my bed in a container. She was showing improvement and I let her outside with the others. Her buddy, one of the Plymouth Rock Chickens that had been a chick with her, was her buddy. She stayed right next to her. They were a little bullied by the two other chickens and the New Hampshire or Rosie was the OG of all the chickens. She had lived through two Raccoon raids. She was a survivor and lived alone in the back yard until I finally replaced the martyr chickens. She was the top of the pecking order.

When the other Barred Plymouth Rock or Peppa, wanted to be the top of the pecking order. She started working her way up. Rosie held her ground and the other Barred Plymouth and Easter Egger were at Peppa's mercy. They watched their back and let Peppa eat first. Even though Rosie was the OG, she let Peppa think she was the top. This relieved Rosie of the work of chasing off the others when she ate. Rosie was a genius. Peppa took on all the work of keeping everyone in line and the newest baby chicks were growing now.

The other Barred Plymouth Rock was named Rex because he outgrew Peppa and her feet were ginormous like a T-rex. And Eater Egger tried to remain best buds with Rex. Until one day the Pecking order began to change. Rex started trying to take Peppa's place. And Rex was pecking at Easter Egger. Eater Egger had developed the name Zombie chicken at this point because of how her head healed and the trauma of having her head pecked or bitten off. Easter Egger as all alone. The other chickens were no longer allowing Zombie to eat with them or sleep with them. Before when she was healing, she slept with Rosie and Rex, but now she was on her own. It was time for Zombie to lay eggs but she knew the other chickens wouldn't let her lay in the coop. She had to find a place to lay her beautiful light green eggs. The other chickens almost seemed to be jealous of Zombie because of her beautiful eggs.

The day came when they had to say in the coop for a week because the neighbor was getting a fence. This was especially hard for Zombie because Peppa and Rex were incessant with their pecking on Zombie.

Zombie succumbed to staying or roosting all day in the coop up high. She did dare challenge Peppa or Rex. And Roxie, the OG, was always in her same spot- in the coop facing the lawnmower in the shed. Peppa and Rex had some gruesome battles for the roosting spot up high. Rex was so chubby, that one night Rex and Peppa were finally roosting after battling for the spot and KERPLUNK, the roosting shelf fell and they didn't have anywhere to roost except with Zombie up high or Rosie in the Shed. Rosie held her position as top of the pecking order and Zombie did get challenged. Zombie is very good at ignoring the other chickens and scooting over and not letting them bother her. She will keep to herself, watch her P's and Q's and let them always eat first. The one problem that Zombie had was that she was laying but didn't want to lay in their coop. She had to. And one day she did lay an egg, in the shed. Not in the coop. I picked the egg up and put it in the coop. When I came back the next day the chickens had pushed her light green egg out of the pile of eggs. I put it back. The next day, same thing. They pushed her egg out of the pile. Ugh. They were brutal with their pecking order. The following week the fence was done and the chickens were happy to be free ranging in the back yard.

One day I was cleaning the yard and came across the pine tree scraps and a nest full of - none else - but light green eggs. Zombie chicken was laying. I had started to wonder if she was ever going to lay because of all her trauma. But she had. And she had a brilliant place among the pine trees. She had refused to lay in the coop and I had only found the 1 egg because she was locked in the coop. Now I knew what she had been doing. Laying her eggs in her hidden nest. I had to move her nest because I was cleaning but I decided to make her a coop out of a wooden crate and put pine tree scraps over it and around it. She hasn’t used the home-made coop. And I did take all her eggs- 7 of them and left one. And then 3 days later I saw Zombie come out of the coop in the morning and head straight to the North side of the yard. She carefully waddled under some Lilac bushes and I wondered...did she have a new nest? Yes! 8 more eggs were in a carefully crafted pine bed nest. She had been laying all her eggs in her own nest. She is just a wonderful resilient chicken. She may not be liked by all the others, and she may be the bottom of the pecking order. But she keeps laying and playing in my back yard. Bless her Chicken Heart. Oh, and we changed her name to Ralph so the stigma of Zombie will leave her.

Sunday, December 1, 2024

Hey Mindful Parents- Let's talk Sensory

November 2024 Do you wish you were at the beach? Me too!
What is sensory? Why does it matter? The "sensory system," in a broad sense, is the part of our nervous system dedicated to receiving and processing information from the world around us. There are several different senses that fit within the sensory system. Each sense (e.g., sight, smell, touch, etc.) uses different body parts that have specialized sensory receptors—cells that gather a certain type of input from the environment. Those receptors are connected to neurons that bring that type of input to a particular region or regions of the brain to be processed. In turn, the brain then makes sense of the input and triggers a response.
click below to learn more Meghan Fitzgeral did such a wonderful job writing what sensory is about that I used her site. She is an amazing mom and educator that started Tinkergarten- a ingenius way to get parents and kids to play. I use much of her curriculum. Understanding Sensory At the Hidden School we play with mud, dirt, rice, lentils, shaving cream, water, slime, play dough, bread dough, cookie dough, paint and anything we can add water too. There is a spectrum to sensory. Some kids can't stand touch and other kids must be squished to feel anything. Some kids can't stand to touch their food and some kids can't get enough glue on their arms. Where do we want our kids to be on this spectrum of sensory? In the middle is "normal". But where ever they are we try to support. If they won't touch it, we encourage to use a stick or spoon to touch it. If they want to bath in it we teach them limits and boundaries with bathing in the glue. Our bodies tell us what we need. There is a great book I read this summer, How the Body Knows Its Mind. This book talks about how our body tells us before we even are conscious about it. And learning is best with manipulatives. We learn best with our bodies. Jumping to 10 vs, counting to 10. Seeing and touching a chicken vs. looking at a book. This book was recommended by a previous student's mother/ math teacher. How the Body Knows Its Mind
Free print out.
sign up for my emails for the pdf files you can download and print. Kids like to know what is going on. Have this on your fridge as a conversation started for what is going on that day. Maybe you are going to the doctor, or getting a haircut, or going to grandpa's house? Visuals will help those kiddos grasp what is going on and lessen their stress and allow them to learn all the places they go. With this understanding you will have a smoother transition.   Places Print out   Free Print out of clothing pictures.
This will help you keep them on task when changing. They can change their clothes, but the underwear go before the pants. And talking to a 2 year old and trying to get them to stay focused on getting dressed is a task. Keep this on the dresser or in the room for quick reference. Visuals make all the difference.   clothing printout

Friday, September 27, 2024

My origin story

I am always observing kids. Watching children is meditation. They are such curious, cautious, primal little people. They live on survival mode sometimes. And they need predictable adults surrounding them.

Other children may grab their toys at any moment. They have to be ready to defend themselves or give up. The amygdala is ready to be fired up at any moment. I have never seen a child too tired to respond. And then there is the dilemma of allowing the child to be themselves. If they are submissive or aggressive teaching them to do that appropriately for social situations. Submissive children may need confidence building at first and aggressive children have an over-firing amygdala. Why? They need to be re-wired to understand they are safe. When does a child understand that they don’t have to fight for their right when someone accident brushes against them…. about age 3-5. Early childhood age. Age 2-4 they are ready to pounce. And that is where I want to help your child. Achieve that balance of allowing others to have a turn, knowing your rights, and finding balance.

Of course we always want a win-win situation. And that can happen, but it takes TIME. And that is exactly what other preschool classrooms DON’T have. They are on a tight schedule and an aide or teacher will stay behind with a child with a firing amygdala. The other children are expected to leave the situation or ignore it. What if they have an inclination to help? I had a situation the other day that escalated to two children crying. The were crying, “I want mommy.” This is the normal response for a 2-year-old. We talked in the class, “What do you do when you miss your mommy or daddy?” Another child ran to her backpack and handed her most beloved toy to the other child. The other child hesitantly took it and settled down a bit. Then a second child ran to her backpack and got out her favorite toy, a police truck. She wanted to show the other child that this is her favorite, but she wasn’t ready to share it. And that is okay. The act of showing it to them was a wonderful step for this child. We took 10 min. to find our pictures of our family and talk about what we do when we miss out mom or dad. At the end of the play time we always do a check in.

What did you do today?

I miss my daddy.

I miss my mommy.

I want mommy.

Notice how all of those sentences are in present tense. These children are still working on (integrating a trauma, or memory) the fact that they miss their parent. And that is normal at this age. This will prepare them for the other life lessons that will come.

Things children do when they miss their mommy or daddy?

They think about their mom. Put their mom in their heart. Think of something. Ask for a hug. (great problem solving). Seek comfort from a stuffed animal. These are all their ideas. I have had children write a note to mom or dad. Draw a picture.

A teacher never knows the extent of how much a child misses their parent. Maybe the child is still working on attachment trauma. Were they a premature baby that didn’t get to bond immediately? I always approach every child curiously and with compassion.

Did I always have this much compassion crying children? NO! It is a time achieved goal. What is even a goal…not really. I did have children young (17) and I remember being frustrated sometimes. I ultimately have 5 children and fostered 3 children. Every child comes with trauma baggage, even biological kids! I was a child that cried a lot, according to my mother. I cried and cried and cried. I do not have a very keen memory to my childhood and my memory is not great. OF course, memory does not start working until 18 mos. according to Dr Siegel. I know from talking to my mother and father that during my early childhood there was marital problems, separation, and a severely depressed mother who neglected the needs of a crying baby. And this may be the reason I have such a passion for early childhood. I do believe that anything negative that happens in our life can be reincarnated to a beautiful butterfly. It has happened repeatedly in my life. Read how this happens with the Chinese farmer…

https://www.wordonfire.org/articles/fellows/the-story-of-the-chinese-farmer/

But I do remember in 3rd grade I wrote a paper about the number 100. I wrote that I wanted 100 children. It was back to school night and all the parents were walking around the room reading what all the children wanted 100 of…when they got to mine…

I want 100 children.

LAUGHTER filled the classroom. I felt shame, embarrassment, and didn’t understand why they were happy for me. This is one of my first LESSONS for understanding children. What kids say they mean. They are serious and don’t want to be the center of laughter.

Dr Dan Siegel is one of my favorite Mindfulness “go to”. The latest sessions I was able to find was on the Trauma-Sensitivity, Self-Compassion, Intergenerational Healing Sessions. These sessions were available by the Founder of The Awake Network, Compassion in Therapy. They have 3 days of video for free!

He talked about the predictable, present, compassionate adult that should be present for children. These qualities in an adult help the child to be able to grow and develop in a mindful way. What good is that? Studies show that if a person practices mindfulness (simply paying attention to your body, meditating, breathing, noticing, being curious about an emotion, or noticing nature) they are better able to process trauma. And if a child is taught mindfulness at a young age, they will be able to process childhood developmental trauma. https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/10/85-year-harvard-study-found-the-secret-to-a-long-happy-and-successful-life.html

A 85 year old study shows that relationships are one of the most important factors to living a happy life. And when your child is born you foster positive, healthy relationships for your child- grandparents, aunts, uncles, and eventually teachers. As a parent we wish for healthy relationships for our children. But what if your child is in a preschool with a teacher that is not present and unpredictable. These are simple traits that we wish everyone had, but the bottom line is everyone is human.

However, if you have ever been around a person that practices being present and listens…you know that person cares. I have been practicing mindfulness for 5 years now. Thanks to covid. I was a religious person previously and that got me to that point and then I found that mindfulness is religion for some people and religion can’t be whole without mindfulness. Jesus was mindful. That is what he did when he went to the garden. He meditated/ prayed!

I have also been working with children for 20 years. I have enjoyed learning from them and know that they are an unstoppable energy. They come with such positive energy every morning and I want to foster that energy and help them hold their place when they feel all of the many emotions packed inside their amazing brains.

Tuesday, August 27, 2024

Hey Mindful Parents July 2024