Manners for Toddlers

July 2025

Summer is not OVER! Keep enjoying every minute until... the smell of crisp fall weather arrives. We already have pumpkins at HVS. Is it going to be an early fall? Maybe?

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Manners and Toddlers

How do we teach kids manners and why is it important?

• Manners give children confidence
• They must have a role model they trust
• Start with early simple habits
• Understand why we have manners
• This leads to good social skills as they age

📺 2 min video: Etiquette & The Story of King Louis XIV – Cindy Post Senning shares how the word “etiquette” came to represent our social customs through a story of King Louis XIV and his summer celebrations at Versailles.

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New Class: Gradual Introduction to Preschool

Caregiver and Me Class – Join us for an hour. You choose: story time, snack time, outside play, or learning time.

Sign up on Calendly

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https://calendly.com/jivins77/caregiver-and-me-class

UPDATE from Miss Jessica

This summer, I took a trip to New Jersey and visited New York with my daughter Marissa. We enjoyed the shore, relaxed by the pool, and even had a pretend “pool boy” (really my bestfriends husband) bring us drinks. Yes, I still pretend as an adult!

I finally started working out—and I’m enjoying it! I gave the preschool room a makeover, created a new solar system mobile, and installed pulley systems in the classroom. At home, I now have an automatic chicken door—more time for coffee in the mornings!

Marissa, my youngest, will be a senior this year. She bought a moped and has been zipping all over Sandy, Draper, and South Jordan. Give her a wave if you see her!

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The Decline of Unstructured Play

by Michael Patte, Ph.D.

In the past, play was child-initiated and open-ended. Today, for many kids, it’s adult-directed and highly structured—impacting physical, cognitive, social, and emotional growth. Michael Patte, professor of education at Bloomsburg University, explains why unstructured play remains essential.

Read the rest here

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Consistency: A Key to Raising Secure, Well-Behaved Children

Consistency is one of the most powerful tools for helping children grow into emotionally secure and well-mannered individuals. Like a steady compass, it helps kids know what to expect and how to behave.

Benefits of Consistency

• Creates a sense of security
• Builds trust in caregivers
• Reinforces learning through repetition
• Shapes behavior effectively
• Strengthens emotional regulation

Why HVS Excels in Consistency

We’re small, stable, and dependable—always the same teachers, never random substitutes. This predictability makes our environment safe and home-like.

Examples in the World

• Church – studies link religious upbringing with greater success
• The seasons – predictable and reassuring
• Sunrise and sunset
• Flowers blooming and fading
• Evergreen trees staying green year-round

Our Approach to Religion

Religion isn’t part of our curriculum, but if a child talks about church, we listen respectfully. Sometimes a child asks to pray before snack, and they’re welcome to do so.

Living in Utah

It’s common for kids to ask, “What church do you go to?” You can simply reply: “I’m happy you’ve found peace at your church, and thanks for thinking of me. I’m at peace with my choice.”

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How Do I Get Through to My Teenager?

Conversations with teens can feel impossible. My creative solution: a picture frame in the bathroom, right above the toilet paper. I rotate the content—jokes, quotes, or reminders. They have to look at it, so maybe they’ll read it!

Sometimes it works, sometimes not—but when they quote something from the frame, I know: mission accomplished. Start this when they’re young so it becomes normal. Change it often.

🖼 Frames for Quotes or Art

📄 Printable Top 10 Cell Phone Rules

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Emily Post Website

Preschool Hours

This year’s preschool hours: 8:30 a.m. – 11:45 a.m.

If you’re in a bind, I can often accommodate. For full-time daycare, my neighbor runs Canny Kids with two locations in Sandy. I can even drop children off there if needed.

Canny Kids Drop-in Day Care

Joseph and Mary and the Rockefeller Tree

Once upon a time Mary Kremper took her first steps onto American soil. It was a hot and humid August day. She paused as she stepped off the vessel in awe. New York was a sight to behold. The dust did not give a hint of the deep depression that would come to take America by suprise. Her seventeen year old vocabulary did not know a word of English. “Itt vagyok,” she whipered. I am here. 
Mary had two dimes in her wool coat pocket. She kept them in her left pocket because she had a hole in her right pocket. She wondered the streets of New York for three days. It was overwhelming. She slept on the side of the store until the owner told her to get out or else she would call the orphanage. She only wanted to come to New York, like a rebellious teen running away, she did not have a plan. 
That is when she was on a corner watching the people cross the street when Sandra was picking up her laundry. She noticed Mary on the corner. Sandra noticed something about Mary's stout figure. She returned with her bag and asked Mary if she had anywhere to go. Sandra asked her if she would like to come home with her. Mary did not have to think about it, she clutched Sandra's arm and off they went. Sandra offered Mary a job cooking in the kitchen. Sandra family enjoyed Mary's German Hungarian cooking.
Sandra adopted Mary into her family. Sandra’s family was known as the Hilton’s. They were of German Hungary descendants. Mary learned English easily. Sandra’s brother worked in New Jersey and Pennsylvania. He knew of a Hungarian gardener that worked for him in Titusville. He told Sandra that he was a good gardener with talent. Sandra did not care about the green thumb, she wanted to introduce the two Hungarians. “We need to introduce Mary to Joseph,” Mary told her brother with the excitement.
Sandra invited Joseph over for dinner with her brother. Joseph Varanyak was born in the United States. However his family had moved back to Hungary when he was three. When he was seventeen he learned he was from America and he headed back to find his future. They introduced Mary and Joseph and it was instantaneous. Joseph had never seen simplicity and beauty as he saw under Mary’s navy felt hat held tightly with hatpins. She saw his hard working hands and memories of her father’s farm in Hungary flooded her day dreams. They only spoke in Hungarian. Talking English was fun, but talking in her tongue was natural. They arranged to be married three months later. Three seemed to be her lucky number. 
One month after they were married they received a wonderful gift from Joseph’s boss. Conrad Hilton purchased Joseph and Mary their first piece of land. “You are talented with your hands. Put your mind and hands to work and build a tree farm,” Conrad advised Joseph. Joseph did and the Farm came to be known in Mercer County, New Jersey as the Varanyak Farm.
It was 1931 and Mary and Joseph were about to celebrate their first Christmas on the Varanyak Farm. They strolled toward the back of the property relishing this moment of their first Christmas. Joseph was the gardener; however, he was not the one that spotted the tree. “This is the tree, it’s perfect,” She told Joseph.  
Joseph went to work to unearth the 4 foot Norway Spruce. They carried it to their home in a bucket. Decorating it was a delight, even during the Great Depression. After Christmas, Mary and Joseph planted it outside their home. Mary bore a son three years later, then twin boys. She continued to care for the tree. Cow manure was the main ingredient. Mary went to the tree to share her cares, tears, fears, pain, happiness and dreams.  
In 1933 Mary remembered hearing about the first Rockefeller Tree in New York. She did not dare say it out loud. One day my little Norway Spruce will make it to New York. Little did she know that the first Rockefeller tree happened in 1931 by construction workers decorating it with tin cans and scrap paper. 
Her pain came with the debilitating accident of her oldest son. He suffered a construction accident and she had to make the heart breaking decision to admit him permanently to a nursing home.  
Mary and Joseph taught their twin sons, Bill and Bob, how to run the farm. “Mom, what are you doing with that cow manure?” Bill and Bob asked their mom. Mary would stir and liquefy the manure in a bucket for the tree. "Feeding the tree. This tree is going to be in New York one day!" The tree continued to grow; meanwhile, Bill and Bob grew up. They graduated in 1952 and worked for their father. The Norway Spruce that was once 4 feet was now a little more than 20 feet tall.  
Mary lived another 46 years. Her husband, Joseph passed and the boys took care of the farm. Bill did some traveling around the world, but eventually returned home. In 1998 Mary Kemper Varanyak passed. She did not get to see her tree make it to New York.
Dreams do not die. Bill and Bob continued working the Varanyak Farm. One March Day in 2008, Bill noticed a helicopter hovering their property. Little did he know they had spotted their mother's tree. Two days later, the late David Morvak knocked on their door and said, “I think your tree would look great at the Rockefeller Center!” Bill and Bob were astatic. The tree was about to go to New York, from country to City, just as their mother had done in 1929.

December came quickly with a snow storm early. Bill looked out the back door one morning after the snow storm and saw a blue bird sitting on the Norway Spruce. The blue bird was rare in the middle of winter, especially after a snow storm. The next day came and the blue bird was still there. The blue bird stayed for 3 days in the 72 foot spruce. Then after the third day came, the trucks and chainsaw showed up. The blue bird was gone. Mary had continued her lucky three day trend. The boys knew the tree was happily on its way to New York. However, the tree did not have to wait three days to find direction. A New York City Parade awaited the tree!

By Jessica F. Ivins
Thank you to Bill Varanyak for the telephone interview in September 2011

This is non-fiction, however, there were some added information to clarify the story. I was not sure what vessel she came over to NY in or what she said when she got here. Bob said it was the Queen Mary, but it did not land here until 1936. Needless to say, Mary Kemper did land in NY and wonder the streets for three days. Their older brother did have an accident. Mary did want the tree in Rockefeller center. The tree was found by the famous helicoptor eyes of David Morvak, and the rest is history.

Adopting a New Identity for Advantage

Is it okay for someone to decide to be black, or African American? Is it okay for a black person to become white? We don't have a problem with boys becoming girls, so why have a problem with changing our race? I would hope that all people embrace themselves and love who they are, but not all people feel comfortable in their skin. I can't imagine feeling this way. But wait, we have certain rights for blacks, Native American, yellow, red and whites, ei. scholarships for college based on race, and "special" treatment by (some) police officers.

 I wouldn't mind being a black woman sometimes. They have a stereotype of, "I am a strong woman." But if a policeman pulled me over I would definitely want to be white. While shopping I would not want to be brown. White or black is good. In school, it would depend on the geographical region. In NM, being brown would be better. But being black in Utah is not. Being in a jungle fever relationship in the south, not so much. Being a white boy in Tennessee...you get the picture.

Women and men have a set of stereotypical ways they are treated by some in the work. Woman, don't be emotionally driven or else you will be looked at as a .... woman. Heaven forbid. In Interstellar Hathaway was driven emotionally and shot down for it. Brand argues in the film that love is a propulsive force, sending us in the directions we need to go. Sometimes we feel that we are tapping into that force of love; other times, it picks us up and forcibly pushes us toward the right decision or action. This isn’t unique to Interstellar; other sci-fi works ascribe much the same power to love, including the ability to manifest as a weapon and the power to induce self-awareness and evolution.
http://www.tor.com/2014/11/13/love-in-sci-fi-interstellar-speech/

Yet, men still decide to be woman and women decide to be men. Here is a quote from the 1850's.
  
And treatment in the workforce being a woman is not always equal.

Now to the racial identity part: 

And as you will read that one adopts a new identity if it is to their advantage. 

     I couldn’t help but think of Rachel Dolezal as I watched “Yellow Face” at Salt Lake City’s People Production. This winsome small theater supports African-American Theater in Salt Lake City.  “Yellow Face” should have a second run considering the unfolding of events in Spokane and the themes that are brought to light in a laugh out loud comedy directed by Kerry Lee. 

     Henry David Hwang, a Chinese-American playwright, won an Emmy in 1988 for “M. Butterfly”. He went on to write another play called “Yellow Face” in 2007 that grappled with his idea of racial identity. He used satire to reveal his comedic view of racial identity. By the end of the play it turns toward a serious question of “Who We Are”.  

     “Yellow Face” shows us how someone can accidentally take on another identity and use this to his advantage. This mixed up character hasn’t lied, yet hasn’t been truthful about his identity to his lover, friends, and employers. This may sound familiar with the headlines. However, integrity is at the base of revealing Marcus’s true identity in the play.

     Just as the sincere character in “Yellow Face” takes on Asian American rights, so does Rachel Dolezal. Can we blame her for fight for African American rights? She has a son that is half black. Her brother that she adopted is black. She has a vested interest in the NAACP.  Does that make it okay for her to take on a new identity? “Yellow Face” also address the flip side of being a racial minority. Just because Hwang is Asian, does he have to be an activist for Asian American rights?  I can’t go join a Native American Tribe and become a chief just because I identify as an Indian. Or If I was a Native American, do I have to take on an active role in bettering education on the Reservation.

     When we start pointing out who is what we are really only identifying with stereotypes. We have all done it and they have been here from the beginning but they also change.  Chinese Americans were once seen as uneducated and now they are identified as all being smart. White people can’t dance, and black can. Oops, that’s a fact. Stereotypes are funny in “Yellow Face”, but as Terri Lee has said, “They can be confusing.” Beyond the stereotypes is our heritage, we can’t erase that. It’s at our core imbedded in our soul.  

     When someone doesn’t love who they are or where they come from, that raises questions. Is it okay to choose our racial identity? If it isn’t, then why is it okay to choose one’s gender identity? Are interracial adoptions healthy for the child’s identity? If a child is in an interracial adoption, what is his racial identity?

     Cynthia Ann Parker, who was taken captive in 1836 by the Comanche, adopted the Comanche ways, and was essentially an Indian in her eyes. Did Rachel Dolezal take on another identity to survive her internal crisis of not being able to be herself? Where do we draw the line in the sand?  And Marcus G. was fooled into accepting his Asian identity in “Yellow Face”. Does that make it okay?  I thoroughly enjoyed the play and praise David Henry Hwang for being brave enough to tackle some of the themes he has in his plays, even amidst some of the uproar from his own Asian Americans. Let’s have “Yellow Face” back for another run!