Thursday, August 18, 2022

Name it to Tame it Dr. Daniel Siegel says, Name it to tame it. And this does work. I think I didn't even name irritated till I was 40. I now have a window of tolerance and when I feel irritated, I need to problem solve. Sounds ridiculous but it is true. And kids do this often. However, they do not know the word for it. Adult can help here. They also do not always have the problem-solving skills to fix the feelings. This is where support is welcome. Children are just starting verbalize solutions about age 2. They do problem solving before this ie. reaching for something and go in their tip toes, or get a stool. All of this is leading to executive functioning. When a child gets upset, they may bite, hit, spit, throw something. When we get cut off by a car we may speed up, slow down, curse, or use sign language to express our feelings. We can teach our kids how to problem solve. And eventually they will learn that they can't always fix the problem immediately.

Tuesday, August 2, 2022

Healthy explosions

The Whole Brained Child by Daniel Siegel and Tina Bryson talks about strategies to help when we or our child forget to think/ or use their upstairs brain.  1. Pay attention to our body. Recognize distress in your child. Help them recognize it.  2. Engage the upstairs brain. Remember It isn't under construction until age 2 years.  3. This brain growth is different in everybody. Therefore strategies begin with distraction- controlled breathing.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0070TRH6O/ref=dp-kindle-redirect/143-4105038-6067135?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1 Daniel Siegel is all about brain integration. Using the upstairs brain and the downstairs brain. And his research is evidence based. Meaning it has scientific proof that it works or is true. Engaging the upstairs brain looks differently for many ages and people depending on thieir history. Taking into consideration their traumas, upbringing, situations, and brain development we have a very broad spectrum of expectations. Mindfulness says we should have zero expectations because expectation bring disappointment. All things considered this may be true for a new teacher or someone that doesn't know your child. However, as parents we know what our child is capable of and we would expect them to not show anger is certain ways. However, if they ever did regress...this would be a tell-tale, sign that something isn't right. All messages from the body are trying to tell the person or those around them something. They are expressing how they feel and if they hold in that feeling they may explode. Healthy explosions. Is there such a thing? In children these are called opportunities to teach. In adults, it is a learning opportunity. If we don't change we don't learn. If we don't learn we don't change.

Thursday, June 16, 2022

How to help your child cope with Anxiety?

Teach your child the thermometer. Once they get from the green, to yellow, to red. It is too late to talk to them when they are at the red. Try to catch the at the Green or Yellow when they can still communicate. Click here to see an example. Depending on the age of the child choose a simpler one for younger children.
Parents are always teahing their child how to respond to anxiety and stress. THink for a moment...How do you handle stress? or anxiety? A growing body of research has highlighted the importance of child mental health for optimal social and academic functioning. International studies show that mental health problems tend to appear early among elementary and junior high school students and can impede self-confidence, social interactions, and cognitive ability. (https://www.mdpi.com/journal/ijerph Mental Health is a universal epedemic. This is why Early Childhood is so important. Let's prevent these mental problems with a set of tools that help children becuase we know they will inevitablly come up against the fork in the road to be anxious/ depressed or use a skill they know can help them. I am a firm believer in prevention before, before, the problem not just at the fork. Start at the handle. For instance, with teen pregnancy in the 80's a study led them to start teaching about teen pregnancy in the 80's to teens. It's too late by then. Same goes for the diliquents. It starts at the handle, early childhood and teaching the parents. Things to remember when your child experiences ANXIETY according to DR. Dawn Huebner is... Anxiety is there to protect us. Teach the child to look at their absolute surrounding them. Look around your self. Examine each body part. Start at your head.
Is your head on? Are your arms on? Fingers attached? Elbows bend? Heart beating? Hips wiggle? Then give a giggle. Are your legs straight, are they bent. Do you have a snake in your boot? Good. You are doing Okay!
Parent can discuss a time they felt anxiety. Or as a parent is driving they can self talk through the axniety for the child. (be causious not to cause anxiety.) Make it less than <5 second.
Whoa, that car made me worry for a second, then I realized that I can slow down, or stay away from them.
Anxiety is a fear and one of the most universal feelings. Most emotions researchers agree on these five Universal Emotions: emotions that all humans, no matter where or how we were raised, have in common. The movement of the shapes reflects the fluid nature of emotions – the way their strength and frequency varies from moment to moment. Check out this Emotion Atlas that shows the 5 universal emotions and what causes them and what responses are to that emotion. Click here. The Dalai Lama imagined "a map of our emotions to develop a calm mind." He asked his longtime friend and renowned emotion scientist Dr. Paul Ekman to realize his idea. Ekman took on the creation of the Atlas alongside his daughter, Eve Ekman, a second-generation emotion researcher and trainer. The Atlas represents what researchers have learned from the psychological study of emotion.
The Dalai Lama imagined "a map of our emotions to develop a calm mind." He asked his longtime friend and renowned emotion scientist Dr. Paul Ekman to realize his idea. Ekman took on the creation of the Atlas alongside his daughter, Eve Ekman, a second-generation emotion researcher and trainer. The Atlas represents what researchers have learned from the psychological study of emotion.

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Move on from mistakes. List to this tip for not holding grudges and moving on from mistakes. We never punish or ignore a child for asking a question or showing emotion. We problem solve all day at the Hidden School with block with choices. 1. You can continue to sit in the feeling of sadness, or anger. or 2. You can come up with an idea to change your feeling. Usually they choose 2. But once in a while they need to sit in their feeling a little longer. And that is Perfectly fine. When our child gets hurt we want to hurry and fix it or distract them and this creates an uncomfortable feeling around those emotions. It's okay. Next, we identify the feeling. Say it out loud. Then brain storm for the solution. There is really simply 4 ways to solve problem. 1. Tool 2. Time 3. Technicality 4. Wit Lastly, is ask for help. But that goes without saying. We want to teach the kids to problem solve. And they are awesome little problem solvers. They know what they need.

Monday, February 21, 2022

Authenticy is something that is most important to children and teens. They seem to know if we are listening and truly care. When we build these relationships with your children they learn to build these relationships with others. Isn't that all we really want from others in the world. If you are at the doctor, you want to be heard. If you are at a store, you want to be heard. And if you are at school or work you want to be heard. How do you feel when people do not listen? Kids are pouring out their soul to us when they talk and it is always from the heart. Listen Mindfully. It takes effort. But it will make a difference. What if you do not have time to listen at the moment. You are better off telling that person that you are busy but you want to listen. You decide if what you need to do at that moment is more important than listening. Some things can wait but the older you get the more you will appreicate people that let you know they are busy versus pretending to listen.

Monday, February 7, 2022

Putting Perception on Problems

Children are learning to understand their world. They can not yet grasp something that is not available through thier senses, in the future, in the past. Time is not yet important to children and shouldn't be. But they are always learning. This is perception. And they are not into seeing anyone elses perception but their own. Because they have not learned empathy yet. Putting perception to problems by a visual of small and big is attainable for children after age 4 going on 5 years.They are learning that some things they can do themselves and others they need to ask help. Kids do not like asking for help because they want to do everything themselves. But we also know, as adults, learning to ask for help is difficult but needed at times. Kids are also learning to be independent at this age. So what they can do we want them to do. These kids are learning so much and they all seem to contradict each other if we think about it. Putting perspective to problems by providing a quick visual for kids will introduce them to putting problems into catagories. Our brain likes catagories and kids can do this at this age. Adults may need to help them undertand what a big problem is and small problem is but this is great lesson at this age. I even use it as an adult!

Saturday, January 29, 2022

Early Childhood Mental Health Summit (2nd annual)

The second annual Early Childhood Mental Health Summit happened in Utah this month! January 2022. Hooray for people recognizing the need to intervene at a young age and doing headway into the now very visible problem of adolesence mental health and suicide rates. Thank you Governor Cox first lady Abby Cox for being on board and seeing the importance of this and for The Children’s Center for collaborating and putting this together. Early childhood and Mental Health in Utah with the work of the University of Utah works with The Children's Center drafted recommendations. Goal is: Help every child secure a solid foundation. Summary: ECMH 8 Strategies to help with Early Childhood Mental Health: 1. create a baseline estimate of need for early childhood mental health 2. Collaborate and coordinate with a wide variety of partners. 3. Increase awareness, promotion and preventions related activities. 4. Increase integration of physical and behavioral health for children. 5. Create incentives to help develop and retain ECMH Early Childhood Mental Health workforce. 6. Develop and provide training and certificates. 7. Estimate the long term value of ECMH in Utah. 8. Decrease disparities. The Hidden School’s recognition of these strategies and what we are doing to address them: 1. The HiddenSchool Found this need during Covid. The Extraordinary kids Summit was discovered and multiple speakers spoke on the importance of secure relationships with young children and supporting their development. THis seems so common sense however it is neophyte to many. 2. The Hidden School is seeking ways of working with others and will reach out to The Children's Center. 3. Parents and others are unaware of the importance of early childhood development. Accessing these resources are just starting to be met. 4. This is directed toward Medicaid enrolled children and helping them seek treatment earlier. The Hidden School School is a form of Child Find with a Special Education Teacher with resources to refer children as need to more services. 5. The Hidden School recognizes that there is a tolerance window for every human. We have found our sweet number for being able to help others at a ratio of 4:1 for student teacher. We are seeking more ways of getting the state involved in recognizing this small ratio importance for children by writing our legislation. 6. The Hidden School has found The MIndful Schools as a training and resource for educating caregivers and certifying teachers to enact Mindfulness for children. 7. Conduct a study. The Hidden School is in its first year. 8. Collect data. The Hidden Schools gives discounts to race and other minorities because it is for the good of all children attending The HIdden School to be exposed to diversity ei: vegan, race, socio-economic status. Early Childhood is a crital time of development. Plasticity is happening at faster rates. Factors that effect this is disparities ei. COVID, race, conflict, low-income, depressed parents. What they need is a secure relationship. This is what The Hidden School provides. A small class size with a resilent class theory that imploys Mindfulness for the children to know that there is just ONE more Person that loves them. Thank you to the Children's Center of Utah, University of Utah, University of Oregon, University of Maryland and Governor Cox and Fist Lady Abby Cox.

Monday, January 24, 2022

Mindless Mindfulness

Mindless Mindfulness means that you are being mindful without having to think about it. Like your heart beats without having to think about it I beleive that if you practice mindfulness you will beable to be mindful all the time. Some people are this way. They are just always thoughtful, careful, noticing the beauty around you, without judgement and with curiosity. No expectations from situations. Accepting the moment. Absorbing the moment. Aware of their needs first and those around them. This is the way to live. But because our world is taught to be busy we have forgotten this skill. It is a current enlightening fade. Be MINDFUL. But some around us may already be. Especially children. They come into the world this way but do not know how to verbalize it. Then we get a hold of them and distract them from thier sensations and forget to listen to them mindfully. If all people were mindful, would the world be a better place?

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Training is based of two of my favorites: Monks of New Skete and Dog Man

 I heard of the Monk of New Skete while raising guide dogs. They use this training along with others. 

https://newskete.org/our-dogs

Their book, 

is wonderful!

https://newskete.org/our-dogs




https://www.thedogmanmovie.com



Dog Training and socialization







This is Smokie. Maybe he isn’t so social. We did some training to help him deal with other dogs. He loves people. check out my instagram and IM me for some training and help.. jessythemessy.



https://www.instagram.com/jessythemessy/




Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Dog Days in the Ivins Clan

I loved being a puppy raiser for the Seeing Eye. Our family's main job was socialization. It is the most important. I can't stress puppy socialization enough. Dogs need to get out and experience different places, levels, visual distractions, and other dogs! I am not a crazy dog person. Dogs need boundaries (like kids) or else they do not become good dogs. I haven't given my kids enough boundaries, but they managed to turn out to be amazing people. But, the dogs. Crave constancy. Think of a dog as a child with Aspergers syndrome, or autism. They need to be challenged and have trouble socializing. Enjoy some Pictures of the dogs over the last 12 years. Tiki, Mambo, Elton, Xebec, Tibor, Twinkie.







Sunday, May 27, 2018

I love practicing Writing! Get a job writing!

Everyone is helping in the community. Ron McBride was a coach for the University of Utah and has been to other states and seen some people missing opportunities. He doesn't want that to happen in his state of Utah. That is why he has the Ron McBride Foundation and is raising money and has support of friends to raise the bar for children's well-being in Utah's schools.

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/05/09/172998/ron-mcbride-s-impact-plan-for-wasatch-front-schools

Malala's story keeps on giving...because of a mom at a local school.

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/05/09/172959/holladay-area-children-use-art-to-solve-problems

A Catholic School in Salt Lake, that used to be a orphanage long ago, celebrates a wonderful cultural night. They even had Mescalero Apache booth! The history of the Kearn's Saint Ann Catholic School is wonderful.

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/05/18/173543/sharing-the-world-of-food-at-kearns-saint-ann-catholic-school-s-fair

This article is about an app called the SafeUT app. It is an anonymous tip hotline through UNI, the university of Utah that helps teens with suicide, depression, drugs, danger, cutting, etc. The hotline is there to help you, or a friend. It is a subject that some people live in denial about and believe depression is not a real illness. But, it is real and those that have it need people to understand it.

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/05/17/173515/safeut-one-app-you-want-your-teen-to-have


My favorite story because it hits close to home. I love this program for foster kid and we need more of them in Utah Universities! The First Star Academy provides monthly support and summer academy to help them catch-up and be ready for college.
http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/05/18/173542/helping-utah-s-foster-children-go-to-college

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Writing Articles for the Valley Journal in South Salt Lake

I started writing articles for the Valley Journal to get more involved in the community and to practice my writing. It has been helpful.

I have learned about the United Way https://uw.org/community-schools/ helping in the community, ways to serve our community, Future Problem Solvers http://www.fpspi.org and their National competition is coming up, and have purchased Malala's children book because of inspiration.



http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/03/07/168500/one-pen-can-change-the-world
This Article is about a woman that was inspired by Malala's book and a variety of incoming thoughts of changing the world. She comes up with a way to help children change their community.

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/03/07/168502/don-t-delay-register-for-preschool-today
This article is simple and comfortable because I teach preschool. I also feel that many people do not realize this resource of intervention is available for free through the school district for children that may be struggle. They may be struggling with behaviors, cognitive, or physically.

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/03/23/169525/why-seek-early-intervention-for-your-child-
And finally, this is for those that do not access these services for children with special needs. It isn't just the diagnosed children, it can be just a speech delay or physical needs.


http://www.fpspi.org founder is Dr E. Paul Torrance who is obsessed with solving problems. 

“The genius of the future will be the creative mind adapting itself to the shape of things to come.”
-Dr E. Paul Torrance – Creativity (1991)
He also has a Lecture Series at Georgia University https://coe.uga.edu/recurring-events/torrance-lectures on creativity. -- The Torrance Center for Creativity and Talent Development is a service, research, and instructional center concerned with the identification and development of creative potential and with gifted and future studies. As part of our goals to investigate, implement, and evaluate techniques for enhancing creative thinking and facilitating national and international systems that support creative development. 
Myths of Creativity: 
It is not forgotten. 
It comes from sitting in the bathtub.
Problem Solving Solutions: 
1. Vexing problem is misleading them to a dead-end. Reinterpret the problem. 
2. Solution comes because there is an unconscious process leading you to the solution.
3. The idea pops into consciousness and it connects immediately. This leads to more creative thinking. 

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/04/11/171103/syrian-refugee-receives-westminister-scholarship

Syrian refugee, Mohammad, worked at Gap with my daughter. She told me about him and I had to write a story on him. Everyone has a story, but not the same story. His village was bombed and they had to flee. They were told they were coming to America in 2 weeks and had to leave everything they knew. Now, he has a scholarship to Westminster, a private college in Salt Lake. Amazing!

http://www.valleyjournals.com/2018/04/11/171114/ups-and-netflix-volunteers-help-at-lincoln-elementary-s-dr-seuss-day

United Way is great way to volunteer in your community! United Way has a unique “Promise of a Collective Impact” to bring businesses together to help schools avoid the declivity and instead reach for success.